Jeffrey Wayne Davies never had a memorial service, a funeral, or even the big party we had planned. He died in January 1983, after having been diagnosed with GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency) in May, 1982. Jeffrey had been a soul mate through my graduate school years and attended my graduation from social work school at Boston University in 1973. He and a band of nutty Gilbert and Sullivan freaks, some of whom continue to be close friends, had sung and danced our way through the 70's, spent long nights talking and eating at Jeffrey's flat and restaurant 9 Knox Street, and supported each other. Jeffrey gave us this space. Though he had an active social life outside of our world, he was always there for us when we needed him.
While he was dying, though none of the medical establishment at the time would really name "dying", we gathered around, flying in and out of New York or taking time off work in New York, to be at his bedside, to take him home, and to try to make a plan for him. Some of those heroes, Jim and Bill and others are also dead from AIDS, others, Patty Shay, John Youngblood and Albert Sherman, to name a few, fearlessly cared for Jeffrey, and helped him out of the hospital against medical advice for his last ride home to Wales where his beloved Aunties waited for him. He lived long enough to say goodbye to his family and was conscious and out of pain at the end of his life, they told us.
Each year at World AIDS Day, I try to remember some aspect of Jeffrey's relationship with me that made a difference in my life. I made that fateful promise to him, that I would continue to be involved in AIDS care until there is a cure; thus, obviously I have had a lot of years of remembering. Perhaps this year, I just want to remember that for such an amazing human being, who was full of faults, full of magnetism, but filled with love, we never had that memorial. And though we have made huge progress towards preventing infection, we still have so many people who are afraid to seek testing and care.
Maybe in 2013 we can celebrate Jeffrey's death and maybe there will be a cure.
Great picture Trish!
ReplyDeleteTrish- I'd like to be there for the "party" for your friend Jeffrey Wayne Davies! He sounded like a great friend to you and many more! I'm glad you still celebrate his being.
ReplyDeleteJeff Underwood
Every year.....he was just an amazing man.
ReplyDeleteDear Trish---I am proud to say that Jeff and I were friends, and I had invited him to come to my parents home for a reception to meet my newly wed wife around the holidays in 1980. He responded, gracefully as always, that he was too ill to attend. I never saw him again until I learned of his death in Wales. Jeff and I did many shows together---he was a remarkable performer---and he enriched my life in too many ways to count. I was thrilled to find this tribute, and I thank you.
ReplyDelete----Jack Marshall
30 yrs later and he's not forgotten, if you met him, you liked him.
ReplyDeleteAt 17yrs I was apprenticed to Maurice Leduc at his patisserie in Harvard Sq, Jeff owned the Costa de Sol spanish rest' just around the corner, he was always in our kitchen, swapping kitchen stories of the previous nite.
Maurice said Jeff was a fabulous pastry artist. My sister knew him well too.
Ged.