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| Sunset in Vilas, NC |
A Week—Makes Me Think
A week ago last Friday night my daughter was bitten by a
copperhead and her sister and husband (who is mortally afraid of snakes)
arrived from New York City to enjoy their Durham wedding reception held at our
house in their honor. Saturday two dear
college friends arrived from Florida and Virginia respectively and stayed with
my other college friend. They had
offered (and I eagerly agreed) to help with the reception. Everyone in the group above had decided as
two separate groups (young and old) to spend Saturday night touring the new
downtown Durham with its new galleries, bars, restaurants and just unusual
places. But, sadly, my snake bitten
daughter spent two nights in the hospital, while I totally sleepless for over
24 hours joined my friends and the newly weds in Durham tours and dinner.
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| Jacob & Katrina with my besties college buddies |
So, there are sidelines in each of the stories of
course. First, the snakebite. My daughter and I were so proud that we had
gotten through the week, not only intact but made progress in a number of
things that pertained to reception and to child care. We had purchased most of the food for the
reception, and only had a few things left to do, and to top it off we had
learned quickly how to change a very wet and “poopy” baby boy’s diaper.
I would put a word in for 3-month-old babies. Perhaps they are not as cute as my grandson,
but they still are fairly helpless in terms of their own autonomy. My grandson is adorable. He loves his own reflection and talks to it
constantly while wiggling and banging his foot on the baby mat. He becomes quickly angry if he does not get
his bottle when he wants it but oh so grateful when he does. He loves making bodily noises and
functions. He is a boy so of course you
have to be quick on the diaper changes, even while he would much rather have no
clothes on at all. He is talkative and cooing and then drops off to a sleep so
deep that he is completely limp.
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| Chrissy, snake bite leg up, Alex & Chui |
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| Grandpa & Alex |
What a triumphant week. We had fallen in love with a baby,
gotten all ready for the reception, and then my daughter decides to go to the
garden to pick basil for bruschetta and the the baby copperhead bites her
ankle. Most people know that the babies’ bites are much worse than an adult’s
because they do not know how to control their venom and let it all go into the
first bite. Somehow I forgot that my back really hurt and flew to the phone to
dial 911. It never occurred to me to try
to help my daughter into the car and drive her to the emergency room myself. It might have saved money, but I would probably
have died from anxiety and then missed my other daughter and son-in-law’s
reception and the tour of Durham with my old college buddies. I wouldn’t have
experienced the frantic feeling of “what do I need to do,” the watching of the
fire department and the EMT’s working over her, the night in the hospital as I meet
so many very caring people who hung anti-venom and pain medicines and fluids
all night and the next day and the next, even while I would have gladly had my
lower half amputated because the chairs were so incredibly uncomfortable and
that the restroom seemed oh so far away. I wouldn’t have known that my neighbor
saw the fire trucks and thoughtfully checked the front door, of course to find
that I never thought about it in my dash to pick up purse (not clean underwear
or a change of clothes for the daughter).
That I wouldn’t have seen the kindness of the valet parking agent who
let me come and go and park with him for free when that is totally against all
rules. (I did give him tips). I wouldn’t have been able to experience with my
daughter the high anxiety about the cost of anti-venom and my daughter’s health
insurance, if I had died. I wouldn’t
have been able to appreciate the kindness of the friends who had picked up the
other daughter and son-in-law at the airport and taken them to their home, fed
my daughter brandy and bourbon until she fell asleep as she wept over her
sister’s snake bite and her own anxiety that she might lose her sister (never
thinking that if her mother had driven that daughter to the emergency
department, she, her own mother would have been dead from anxiety).
If I had died of anxiety, I would not have gotten or known
about the amazing group of friends of mine and my snake bitten daughter all
around the world reaching out to my family, even offering to start a “Go Fund
Me” kickstarter to help with the payments of the anti-venom ($10,000/vial—she
got 6 with only 70% paid for by her insurance).
I wouldn’t have enjoyed the reception so much, a reception that was reel
of old friends and acquaintances and friends of my daughter’s who came and
seemed to enjoy themselves. (At this
point the snake bit daughter was upstairs sadly feeling very uncomfortable and
having too many visits from well meaning friends and acquaintances!)
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| My buddies & I (now I have my own apron) |
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| Katrina wants to steal Alex |
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| Scott Hill together with some of the her students from DSA |
But, I am alive, and the week continued with more
well-wishers, and dramatic improvement.
Now, I am so grateful that my daughter got the anti-venom as her
swelling and overall improvement have been seemingly better than those who do
not receive it. We have made huge
progress in calling old contacts who are “fundis”, (kiswahiili for “fix-it”
people), and finding that all are willing to visit our house and appraise the
needs of “this old 69 year old house.” I also talked at length to my friend who
hosted my daughter and son-in-law and came to a realization that fears of
snakes can honestly create “haunts (pronounced ha-aintes)” that might follow
you. And, I appreciate even more that my
wonderful husband came home from the mountains a day early to make sure that my
daughter got good care in the hospital (she did). Emotionally, his coming certainly helped
me.
Last weekend, we were even able to go to the mountain cabin
and garden, weed, look at the beauty around us and get all the things that we
need for the upcoming family beach trip.
I had a break through (I hope) in recorder playing with one of my
fippling friends, (hope it holds) and even limped my way through some new
guitar melodies. We attended our super
wonderful church St. Luke’s in Boone, and as usual listened to an incredibly
thoughtful sermon from our Priest, and sang old faithful hymns that you
practically know by heart if you were born and raised Episcopalian. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgYg7DDveM0
(this is an amazing sermon....if you watch it you will understand why we love this church)
To top it off, the organ postlude was one of
my all time favorites sadly lacking the trumpet, but set for organ by itself was just
wonderful.
(not our St. Luke’s but just as wonderful and with the brass)
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| My favorite picture of Lonetree |
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| One of my favorite daylilies Dreamcatcher perfect for the week. |
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| Lots of Wooly Mullen on our mountain, but this one always makes me happy |
Sunset again on the mountain in Vilas....from our deck.
So, despite anxieties about money, back pain, foot pain, and
our country, there is so much good in this world we each live in. And for me this past week, the good was right
around the corner all week long. I named no names because the list would have
been too long, but everyone knows who they are. Thanks all!
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